Sunny days really go by the slowest sometimes. I have only been awake for five hours, and I have been out and about, and said goodbye to people I love, and hugged those who returned from a break. But it never makes the hurt stop. I feel like that's all I'll be doing in the next week. Saying goodbye.
My roomates are leaving. My floormates are leaving. My boyfriend is leaving. It feels like everyone is just waltzing out for the summer, and expecting it to be the same come September. And it probably will. So many of them will be gone on trips. For example, a number of people are going to Israel, England, China, Cuba. R is going to BMQ. I am going home. To a painfully small town on the Peninsula of boredom in a box, taped together with old chores, and summer jobs. Old friends will re-claim their spot in my life, until I cry myself to sleep because I miss the city, and the sounds, and the excitement.
And of course, I will miss R the most. He is my world, and I am so in love with him. Head-over-heels-in-love. I'm terribly afraid that it will all be so different when he comes back. I won't be good enough for him. He would have matured far beyond my level. I will just be a girlfriend whom he wasted months with to realize that he doesn't want to do this anymore.
Sorry -- I'm just putting myself down; must be one of those days.
I love him. With my whole heart and soul. And I'll be his; forever and always.
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